The Day When Everyone Turned Gay Except Kevin
by ChibiMizu
Summary: As the title implies! Chuck full of slash! HUZZAH! Reviews make me happy! .


"The Day When Everyone Turned Gay... Except Kevin."  
by: ChibiMizu

Disclaimer: Don't own EEnE. Never will... so don't be worried! Also, my analogy with the planets? I made it up so don't even try to look it up. It's fake! A lie! A scam! A trick! And I made it up! BUAHA!

Warnings: The title? Was gonna have 'gay and horny' but didn't... hmm... it'll still be there tho! This fic is chuck full of mindless slash. That's right, chuck full. Did you read the title? Poor Kevin!Other notes: This is gonna be a one-shot unless I decide to add more. I doubt it tho. This is definitely gonna be a one-shot... but hey, ya never know.

--  
Every 1000 years, all of the planets aline perfectly except one single planet, that planet being Pluto. Now, not even psychics or the people who write books about the planets know the real planet that belongs to a person. Sure, horoscopes say that everybody has a planet and it tells you which one but that's far from accurate. Nobody knows for sure which planet is theres. Now, when these planets aline, nobody is for sure what happens because when the day is over, nobody remembers it. The only people that remember are those who are under the planet Pluto. Pluto holds them to that memory so they will never forget and never tell of the exact events but they can tell that their planet was indeed Pluto. Studies have been done on those who've gone insane after these events and its all the same. Craziness, pouring out of their mouths as they talk about friends and loved ones, but nothing ever detailed or in depth. These people are scarred for life, not able to talk of these events and only a choice few actually know about the event. But when it happens and there is a Plutonian, they are never the same.  
--  
"Pass it here Rolf!" the red head shouted at the taller boy, lunging for the football. Sliding on the ground, he grasped the football and grinned. Easy pass. He got up and threw it back to Rolf, who missed and ran off to find the ball in the bushes. Kevin removed his hat and wiped his brow, running his hair through his red strands of hair. Replacing his hat, he turned to watch Nazz walk up and smile.  
"Hi Kevin. You guys playing football?"  
"Yeah Nazz." Kevin smirked, his tone emitting coolness. Nazz nodded as she watched Rolf run back with the ball and throw it. Nazz dove for the ball and started laughing as she caught it.  
"Look Kevin! I caught it!" she giggled, brushing off her pants.  
"Wow! Awesome, Nazz!" Kevin welcomed Nazz's embrace by shyly hugging her back.  
--  
On the other side of the yard, Eddy sneered.  
"I can't believe she just HUGGED him!" he growled. Double D sighed.  
"Sorry Eddy. We don't play sports; therefore, don't get her attention." he rolled his eyes as Eddy glared at him.  
"I'll show her sports! ED! Get me a soccer ball!"  
"...Chikin?"  
"No, Ed. A soccer ball. Eddy wants to show Kevin up." Double D patted Ed on the head as he nodded slowly.  
"Okie dokie Eddy! I'll get you a chikin! ...Rolf!!" Ed pranced off, waving his arms and calling for Rolf.  
"Augh." Eddy chewed his lower lip and looked back at Nazz and Kevin playing football. "It's not fair. I'm WAY cooler than Kevin!" Eddy snarled.  
"You think that Eddy, but by societies standards--"  
"No! I AM cooler! Look at him! Him and his huge chin and his stupid red hat and... his stupidness! I can't see how Nazz could want to be around him!" Eddy turned his back and wandered away, Double D following him close.  
"Eddy, isn't it getting kind of late? Should we go home?"  
"Yeah. Whatever. See ya tomorrow." Eddy kicked at a stone and headed toward his home. Double D stood in the street, watching as Eddy disappeared in his house. He shook his head slightly before heading toward his own home.  
"Double D!" a voice called from behind him.  
"Oh! Hello Ed!" Double D smiled as Ed ran up.  
"I forgot what I was gonna get but Rolf said I could spend the night with the chikins! They have been having bad dreams again he said!" Ed beamed.  
"Oh, alright Ed! See you tomorrow then!" Double D smiled as Ed held him in a quick hug then ran off back towards Rolf's. The raven-haired boy scratched his head and then went home. Another boring day of scamming, Nazz watching, and brainless antics was over. Nothing interesting ever happened. But hey, tomorrows another day, right?  
--  
Kevin yawned as the bright sun invaded his dark room. His sheets were on the floor and his blankets were entangled around him everywhere. His pillow, on the other side of the room, asked for comfort from the glass shards that decorated it. Blood droplets were splattered on the shattered mirror and trailed to the bed.  
"What happened?!" Kevin sat up quickly, startled at the disarray of his room. Sure, he was no neat freak but even he didn't like that much of a mess. "I musta had a bad dream or something." He rubbed his face and searched for his hat. He found it where he left it tho, resting on his bed post. After placing his beloved hat on, he looked at his knuckles. Dried blood discolored his hand and he grimaced. He raced to his bathroom and stripped down, jumping into the shower. He froze then, when he saw a marking on his chest, covered in drying blood. He screamed as he touched the wound. It was real and it hurt. He jumped back out of the shower and grabbed for a towel, tying it around his waist. He looked in the mirror and gazed in horror at the deep cut that looked like a 'P' with a horizontal tail. The blood, still semi-wet, had flowed down his chest and pooled at the floor, droplets turning into a small puddle, a fresh wound. He bit his lip, trying to think of what to do. Nobody was home and he was the second oldest in the Cul-De-Sac so he should know what to do... but he didn't. All rational thoughts escaped him until the blood started to clot further and stopped flowing. He raced and got some gauze, wrapping it around him. After breathing deeply for a minute or so, he found his mind and cleaned up the bathroom. He showered carefully then, using minimal soap as to not cause burning. When finished, he made sure no blood was left and he got dressed. He cleaned up the piles of glass and tried to get the blood out of the carpet the best he could and headed out the door. If anybody could explain why he did this, it would be Double D.  
--  
Sprinting across the street, Kevin knocked on the door to the hat wearing Edd. He bounced slightly as he waited for the door to open.  
"Kevin! What brings you here?" Double D answered the door, leaning on the door frame seductively.  
"I have-- D-double D? What's wrong with your eyes?" A dark mist seemed to fog Double D's eyes.  
"Nothing my dear. Wont you please come in?" he smiled and grabbed Kevin's hand, pulling him close. A faint red spread across Kevin's face as Double D gently caressed his face.  
"YAR!" Kevin screeched as Double D leaned into kiss him. Kevin jumped back before contact was made and he stepped back further. "Dude. What's wrong with you?!"  
"Kevin... I... I need you... I want you..." Double D's face turned slightly pinker as he caressed himself through his shorts. The red-head's eyes went wide as Double D grabbed for him. Kevin sprinted like a cat on fire away from him and then found himself at Eddy's.  
"Well, whatever is going on, Eddy should know. They basically live together. Maybe it was just a dare!" Kevin nodded at his presumption and knocked on Eddy's bedroom door on the outside.  
"Oh man Kevin! I'm SO glad you're here! Come in! Hurry!" Kevin furrowed his brows but was allowed to be pulled into the dark room.  
"What's wrong with you? Double D--"  
"Shh!" Kevin felt a hand stop him from talking. A shudder went through him as he felt a warm, wet tongue on his ear.  
"Oh GEEZE!" Kevin jumped away from Eddy although not exactly sure of where to go. "You're just like Double D!"  
"No Kevin... I can please you more than him. I am nothing like him..." A pair of rough hands pushed Kevin backwards to land on the unseen bed. Kevin tried to get to his feet but felt Eddy crawl on top of him, touching him and caressing him.  
"God Eddy..." Kevin moaned before he could stop it. A pair of warm lips enclosed on his and his eyes widened as he realized what was going on. "SHIT!" the redhead pushed Eddy away from him and scrambled to his feet. Fumbling around in the darkness, Kevin tried to find a light switch or... the DOOR! A small crack of light shone from under the door and apparently, at the same time Kevin saw it, so did Eddy. A quick rush of air and the light was gone. Kevin held his breath as he listened for Eddy.  
"Keevin..." a smooth voice, soft like the wind, sounded behind him. He swiveled around and caught his breath as a pair of reddish glowing orbs looked at him through the darkness. "C'mon Kevin... you know you wanna..." Kevin dashed for the spot where he saw the light and scrambled to find the doorknob. "KEVIN!" Eddy screeched before he opened the door.  
--  
The bright light of the sun invaded the room and Kevin sprinted from the house. He looked back once at Eddy who say on his knees on his porch.  
"Come back anytime, Kevin! I'll be waiting!" The only thing Eddy noticed was a small marking on his cheekbone. It looked as if it was carved there, like the one on his chest.  
"What the hell is going on?!" Kevin mumbled as he ran to the next option.  
"NAZZ!" he pounded on the door to her house. No response. He leaned his ear against the door and all he could hear was a soft moaning. "What the...?" All he could think of though, was the two Edd's and their... unusual behavior. "Nazz?" He jiggled the handle and surprisingly, it was unlocked.  
"Mmm..." Kevin's eyebrow perked as he entered the house cautiously. The moaning got louder as he neared the kitchen and he prepared himself for the worst. Unfortunately, his version of 'worst' wasn't this bad.  
There laying on the cold kitchen tile was Sarah, covered in honey, being 'cleaned' by none other than a naked Nazz."Oh... h-hi Kevin..." Nazz looked up, her hair ruffled around her face and a dark blush covering her cheeks. She tenderly licked her lips and sat up. "I would ask you to join us... but... I need to clean Sarah..." she managed out as she traced Sarah's honey covered tummy.  
"Th-that's okay..." Kevin backed up slowly, hesitating only due to the fact that Nazz was naked. He made one last look at her and sprinted for his mentality.  
--  
After awhile of running, he ended up at Rolf's. He sat down in the grass and caught his breath.  
"I'm so confused..." he inhaled the clean air deeply. "Eddy had that mark on his cheekbone... and Nazz had one on her back... her's was different than Eddy's and mine... His was a circle with a 't' under it and horns but her's was a little different. It had no horns and then it had backwards parenthesis attached to the horizontal line on the 't'. Oh! Sarah had one too, on her arm! Her's was the same symbol as 'men'. Mine is just a 'P' with a tail... Where have I seen these before?" Kevin tried to think through everything, sorting things out. "Everybody is acting... GAY! Why not me?! Oh geeze..." Kevin bit his lower lip worriedly. "And if everybody has a symbol, where was Double D's?" He turned quickly as he heard a noise behind him. "Who's there?!" Kevin balled his fists, ready to fight off any man to show up.  
"It is just me Kevin." the tall blue haired boy came out of the shed, carrying a whip, a dangerous smile playing on his face.  
"Oh man, Rolf! Have you noticed any crazy behavior in everybody?!" Kevin stood, waving his hand in the direction of the other homes. Rolf seemed pretty normal.  
"Crazy? No, Rolf has not seen any craziness other than the usual. Please excuse Rolf. Ed-boy has been naughty and Rolf needs to teach him a lesson. Care to join us?" Rolf pulled the whip tight in his hands. Kevin shuddered and shook his head.  
"I think I'll pass..." Kevin retreated, noticing a symbol which resembled a two with a small, vertical line going through the bottom horizontal line placed on his forehead. "Where am I supposed to go now?" Kevin muttered as he ran. "Duh! Go home!" Kevin rolled his eyes at his own stupidity and sprinted the rest of the way home.  
--  
Kevin looked around the quiet Cul-De-Sac before opening the door to his house and locking the door behind him. He sighed deeply, sliding down to the floor, leaning against the door. "Those symbols... where are they... oh yeah!" Kevin jumped to his feet and ran to his parents room. A large filing cabinet sat next to the closet and luckily, the keys were in it. He opened the first drawer and shuffled around for a bit before finding a large piece of paper. "Those are astrological signs for the planets! Thank you, mom, for being an astrologer!" He nodded to himself as he looked over the paper. Eddy had the symbol for Mercury, Nazz had Uranus, Rolf had Jupiter, Sarah had Mars and he had Pluto on his chest. "What does this all mean though?"  
"It means we've been possessed, in a sense, by our planets..." An arousing voice sounded from the doorway. Kevin slowly looked up to see a very seksi looking Double D in the doorway. A different wardrobe adorned his body; a white button up shirt, opened and falling off his shoulders replaced the red t-shirt (1) and a pair of... black silk boxers?  
"You're not wearing pants..." Kevin noted, also thinking to himself that if Double D was a chick, he'd bang him in a second.  
"Very true, Kevin dear." Double D walked over to Kevin and sat next to him, snuggling up to him.  
"How do you know about this planets thing?" Kevin asked, getting slightly uncomfortable with Double D so close.  
"It's a rare fact but every 1000 years all the planets aline perfectly except Pluto. You're Pluto so that's why you were unaffected..." Double D traced small circles on Kevin's upper leg, causing Kevin's eyebrow to perk up. "Nobody really knows what happens because the people that are watched over by Pluto end up insane or mentally unstable." Double D pressed his hand warmly onto Kevin's covered cock, licking his lips slightly. Kevin shook his head of the pleasure and picked Double D's hand off him.  
"Really? How long will this last?"  
"One day..." Double D laid a chaste kiss on the side of Kevin's mouth, who promptly shoved Double D away.  
"Stop that!" Kevin wiped his mouth, the blush, though, unable to be concealed.  
"Why?!" Double D shouted back. "It's not like I'll REMEMBER any of this..." Double D said quietly, a pang of sadness in his voice. Kevin watched Double D as he crunched into a ball and racked with sobs. "It's not fair. When I first learned about this, I so wanted to be Pluto so I could study all of this but now I wont even remember this day..." Guilt washed over Kevin as he watched the defeated frame shake with angst and tears.  
"How do you remember all of this now?" Kevin asked, looking into Double D's clouded eyes.  
"I remember everything except who I love... who I cared for... That caring was replaced with a pure lust for the Plutonian, being you... and I can't stop myself..." Double D tried to hold back tears as he played with the corner of his shirt.  
"I'm sorry but I can't... I... no... I just can't..." Kevin shook his head, making up his mind. This was Double D! Eddy's right hand man! The one who scammed everybody EVERYDAY! Why should he care? Especially if he doesn't remember... Double D nodded, wiping away his tears. Reaching up, he slowly pulled his beloved hat off his head. Long black tresses fell around his shoulders, a cascade of silky hair. Kevin sat in awe at the Double D, his beauty increased just by the removal of his hat."I might as well show you my hair, seeing as I wont remember." he ran a hand through his hair, seductively flicking it in Kevin's general direction. Kevin licked his lips before waking up from the trance.  
"Stop! You can't make me do anything!" Kevin growled, turning away. A pout appeared on Double D's face as he crawled over to Kevin and leaned against his back.  
"You're right..." Double D's scent filled Kevin's senses as Double D slid around Kevin's body and laid in his lap, his head strategically placed in his crotch. Kevin held his breath as Double D caressed his cheek, his long hair entangling his fingers and limbs. Kevin looked over the body in his lap, his mouth starting to water until he noticed a small mark on Double D's hip. The sign of Saturn! As if the planets decided to stop completely, time froze as Kevin leaned down and kissed Double D, softly, of his own free will. Kevin lingered centimeters away from Double D's pink lips and whispered "I'd much rather have you when you were of right mind." Kevin smirked evilly before pushing Double D off his lap. He stood quickly and dashed to his own room, leaving Double D confused and sort of angry. Kevin bolted the door to his room and breathed deeply, not turning to face his own room.  
"First mistake, locking your door." Adrenaline coursed through Kevin as he looked behind him. Sitting cross legged on his bed was Eddy, dressed in a unique and dangerous dominatrix outfit.  
"Shit." Was all Kevin had to say as Eddy stood, waving a riding crop around.  
"Slave! Kiss my boots!" Eddy ordered, pointing his foot in Kevin's direction.  
"Or not! I think I'd rather take my chances with Double D!" Kevin turned and scrambled to unlock the door. Forceful hands slammed him up against the door and warm breath hovered on his ear.  
"What's the rush?" Eddy whispered hotly, licking Kevin's earlobe alluringly. A shiver went through Kevin's spine as he sank to the floor in an attempt to escape Eddy's horny wrath. "You know, you are just making it easier for me." Eddy smirked, pulling out a pair of handcuffs. With a speed Kevin had never witnessed, Eddy had him locked in a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs, his hands stuck behind his back. Laying on his face, Kevin moaned in anguish as Eddy sat on his legs and slowly drew circles on his back. A pair of cold hands slid under Kevin's shirt and massaged him slightly. A searing pain suddenly went through his lower back. Kevin cried out as the knife Eddy had hidden in his boot until as of now sliced through his skin. Warm blood seeped through the wound and Eddy bent over, licking the laceration clean. Eddy then turned Kevin over and placed a heated kiss on his lips, his tongue forcing entrance. The taste of his own blood and saliva filled his mouth as Kevin forced back a gag. Eddy sat up and admired his prey, licking his lips of a droplet of blood. He twisted the knife over a couple times and brought it down to Kevin's cheek. "You better do what I say, or your pretty face may end up scarred." Kevin sneered. His back already ached from rubbing against the floor with a fresh cut and he felt that a cut to his face would be gone in a couple of weeks but a wound to his pride would never heal.  
--  
With some quick thinking and the hope that in this state, friends could betray one another, Kevin did the only thing he could think of.  
"Double D! HELP!" And besides, nobody would remember this, right? The padding of feet outsidein the hallway and the pounding of fists on the door rang in Kevin's ears.  
"Kevin?! Let me in!"  
"Eddy has m--" a rough hand was placed over Kevin's mouth as Eddy looked from the door to the helpless Kevin.  
"I'll repay you for this. You will regret going to his side. If I can't have you, then HE certainly wont!" Eddy hissed. He held the knife high above his head, preparing to bring it down and embed it in Kevin's tan skin. Kevin's eyes widened as death raced through his mind.

-THUMP-Double D smashed his shoulder into the door which caused the door itself to push Eddy off Kevin's trembling frame. Eddy lay unconscious on the floor, the knife still grasped tightly in his hands.  
"Oh my! Kevin!" Double D gathered the still shaking Kevin into his arms and petted his head lovingly. "Come along Kevin. We can clean you up and bandage that enormous GASH on your back!" Kevin winced as Double D brought him to his feet. Slowly and carefully, Double D led him to the bathroom, letting Kevin lean on him.  
--  
After an extensive cleaning, a couple naughty touches and more than enough angry screams, Kevin was bandaged and sitting on his mother's bed once more. A pair of dimmed purple eyes stared at him from the floor, patiently awaiting Kevin's next move.  
"Is Eddy still unconscious?"  
"Yes, Kevin. He is still unconscious. Do you think we should leave him here and go elsewhere? Nobody is home at my house and I--"  
"Double D! Stop! Okay, let me explain things to you! I am, in no way, shape or form, gay. I don't care if you want my body or whatever, that's your business. Also, I have no real reason to give into you because you wont remember ANY of this! So why should I care?" Tears began to well up in Double D's eyes, his anxiousness replaced with sorrow.  
"You are heartless, Kevin. I hope you know that. I hope that you are never happy... I mean yeah, I wont remember but wouldn't it be enjoyable while it lasted?" he stifled a sob. "Don't you care at all? I thought that in the least we were accuantince, maybe even friends. Friends do things for each other when they are in need."  
"This doesn't mean that I'd have sex with you."  
"What if I told you a secret?"  
"Secret?" Kevin glanced at Double D.  
"That if you don't have sex with me, I will remember all of this... that all of this will be bored into my head, never to leave. And I hope you'll be happy because it will be ME who knows how horrid a person you are."  
"Bull shit."  
"It may be that but I don't care! Can't you see?! I'm LYING to get you! I'm not even Double D right now! I don't know WHO I am! I'm this... lust crazed human who can only think about sweet passionate sex with the Plutonian! I can't help it!" Sobs wracked Double D's body. "I want to be normal again..."  
--  
Warm arms wrapped themselves around Double D's shaking body.  
"Shh shh shh... it's ok." Kevin stroked his long silky hair lovingly. "I know you better than that. You wont give in to the lust will you?" he said, more than asked. Double D embraced Kevin back, holding onto the older boy's shirt. "C'mon. It's getting kinda late. If you go to sleep, when you wake up, you'll be back to normal and wont remember any of this!" Kevin smiled, happy at the though of this being over.  
"Y-yeah..." Double D looked into Kevin's blue eyes and smiled faintly. A small yet sweet kiss was planted on Kevin's cheek. A light blush crept to Kevin's face but calmed as he stood and helped Double D to his feet."We can crash here for the night. My parents are gone for the weekend so it's okay to stay here." Kevin smirked as he locked the door. "This is not so I can't get out. It's so Eddy can't get in." Double D smiled shyly as he sat on the bed. He bit his lip as Kevin removed his shirt and hat. "Oh... sorry... making this difficult for you..." Kevin started to put his shirt back on but he stopped as he felt a warm, shirtless body press against his. Double D snuggled in Kevin's neck, inhaling the scent of the athlete.  
"No... keep it off..." Double D murmured, pulling him toward the bed. After a minute or so of rearranging, both boys sighed and drifted off to sleep. Or did they?  
--  
The rays of sun danced through the window as Double D sat up."I had such a good dream... where am I?" the long haired boy asked no one in particular. "This room... is... Kevin's parents' room?" Double D looked around then looked down at the still sleeping form, the person who was holding him two seconds ago.  
"Kevin?!?!" Double D screeched, jumping out of bed until he realized... "I'm NAKED?!?!?!" he grabbed the sheet off the bed and wrapped it around himself. "What happened?! Where are my clothes? Where is my HAT?!" Double D scampered around, picking up r eminence of what seemed to be his clothes.  
"Mmm..." a muffled moan came from the bed and Double D watched as Kevin woke and went wide-eyed. "Shit!" He picked up the blanket and yep, he was also naked. "Double D! Tell me you don't remember!"  
"I don't remember! What did you do to me?!" he screamed, his face beet red. Embarrassment ran through Kevin as memories flooded back to him. "Oh man Double D! I..." Kevin shook his head. It wasn't his fault! Really! Last night... it was Double D who started it! He was the one who insisted... The lust, the pleasure, the moaning of his name, all of it Kevin remembered and none of it Double D remembered.  
"Kevin, why am I naked in your parents bed with you whom is also not wearing clothing?!" Double D tried to maintain his composure.  
"Uhh..." Kevin scratched the back of his neck, searching for the right words. "You fell in the river last night! Yeah yeah! You fell in and I rescued you! But nobody was home at your house or mine so... I had to remove you're cold wet clothes so you wouldn't get hypothermia!"  
"..." Double D thought about this. It sounded plausible. "How did I fall into the river?"  
"Mm... you... uh... were PUSHED! By... the Kanker sisters! Yeah... that's why your clothes were torn." Kevin nodded matter-of-factly."Ohh... okay then. It makes sense but I think I'll be going home now... could you maybe lend me some clothes?"  
"S-sure!" Kevin smirked, putting his hat back on. Everything was going to work out and nobody remembered any of it.  
--  
Kevin made up stories for everybody. Saying that people fell and bumped their heads, or ate something bad and got sick. Lies like that... but only one question remained.  
"Why didn't I go insane?" Kevin whispered to himself on the way to taking Double D home.  
"Because you succumbed to the lust..." a hollow sounding voice came from Double D who looked to Kevin, his eyes clouded over temporarily before clearing up and returning to normal. Kevin watched Double D's eyes for a moment before Double D furrowed his brow.  
"Is something wrong Kevin? What are you looking at?" the shorter boy asked.  
"Uhh... no... nothings wrong..." Kevin looked away. "All I have to say is that planets are weird." Double D stopped and watched as Kevin continued toward his house.  
"Planets? Kevin! Wait! I need to talk to you!"

-End-

Ending notes: One shots are FUNDABULOUS! HUZZAH! -grins- But yeah! Wasn't this fic pointless? I think it was but hey! Why not! Actually, what I'm going to do, is draw this and make it into a doujinshi! (Manga based on somebody else's characters) It'd be anime style... -sighs- If ever I get around to that, it'll be on Fanart-Central. Gomen to those who got lost along the way. I possibly lost myself! And sorry to all who wanted a lemon scene actually in this. I had a big thing going and it was really long... and I forgot to save it so I lost it... oh well.  
(1) Ok. Sometimes his shirt is red and others is orange. I can't really tell b/c on my poster its orange but on the show it seems red... 


End file.
